?雷伊·達裏奧，Ray Dalio，橋水基金（Bridgewater Associates）總裁，福布斯全球第88位。
?我在此寫下這兩條原則，是因為我想到自己的兒子和他的未婚妻馬上要結婚了。同時我想到我的另外兩個已婚了的兒子和他們與他們的妻子的婚姻，也想到了我和我妻子43年的婚姻生活，我和我在橋水基金合夥人的幾十年的合作關系，還有我其他的長期的深厚的其他各種情誼。這些種種的關系和與人的連接，是我生命當中最美好的事情。 同時我也覺得自己也應該將我所學到的如何擁有這麽多美好有意義的壹生之久的關系的壹些原則分享給大家。
原則1：
能夠建立起和維持這樣真誠和偉大關系是要靠著壹個毫不動搖的信念。這個信念就是，這關系比其他任何事情都要重要。
那是因為，在所有的關系中隨著時間的推移，總會有不好的時候，和有很多分歧的時候，這包括很多很重要又很大的的分歧在內。是這樣的信念和雙方通過實踐證明了的為之付出和負責的承諾，才造就了這樣的意願，這樣大家可以壹起想辦法解決問題，然後大家才能壹起度過這樣不好的和有分歧的時候。雙方都需要能夠給出這樣的承諾同時還要能看到對方也能如此做，這樣才能擁有這樣的壹種關系。如果妳們雙方都很努力的去相信確實是這樣的，然後也知行壹致，也是這樣去做的，它就會變成真的。但是如果妳們不相信它，或者是口裏壹套行為壹套，這樣它就完全沒有機會成真了。而真愛就是這樣被證明的。
當然，在這樣的關系和感情的初期，這似乎沒有理由去相信沒有任何事情事情比這段關系更加重要，然後雙方對這段關系的***同的承諾會自然而然的在那裏。因為這個信念還沒有被很好的考驗和驗證。然而正因為是這樣，所以妳就需要有壹個信仰，要相信它是真的，然後也當成它是真的這樣來行動，同時看對方是否也如此行。不過當然，如果其他事情本來對妳來說真正比這段關系更加重要，那這個信念也就完全無足輕重了。所以，當妳面臨這些關系低谷時候的挑戰和遇到壹些分歧的時候，在需要去做重要的諸如這些關系和其他事情什麽更加重要的抉擇的時候，妳需要真正的好好想想這段關系相比於得到妳想要的其他的來說，到底有多重要。因為妳在這些時候所做的決定，要麽會增強，要麽就會削弱這段關系。
原則2：
如果妳需要評估這段關系的價值，好好想想這段關系是否和妳壹直所秉承的理念和原則壹致。然後把更加重要的理念和原則放到前面來，其他的其次。
在這樣壹個評估的過程中，請記住： a) 妳所能擁有的這個世界上最偉大和最美好的事務就是這些偉大的關系，尤其是那些很重要的偉大的關系； b) 如果妳不能克服這些關系中的壹些分歧和美中不足，是無法能夠長期的擁有和維護這些偉大的關系的。
譯者：原則1，其實對於我們很多人來說很難理解。Faith，即中文翻譯過來的信念，但是這個概念本身中西方的差異很大。因為在西方社會宗教作為壹個普世的存在，有神論者對faith的接受更為自然。那就是，去接受和相信壹些摸不著看不見的東西。所以在我們看來，我並不知道這段關系是不是很偉大，甚至都不知道他是否持久，我怎麽才能有這樣的信心信念呢。好在Dalio在文中也提到了，沒到這個時候恰恰就是考驗妳們的時候，這個時候妳的選擇就決定了這段關系後續的走向，或者是越來越緊密要麽就越來越淡薄了，但這個是壹個必要的過程，需要妳好好去權衡和思考的，其中壹個考量標準又正好是第二條。
WDYT？（What do you think？妳是怎麽看的呢？）歡迎留言或者私信交流~
Original? Essay:?
I just wrote these two principles because I’m thinking about my son and his fiancé who are about to be married, I’m thinking about my two other married sons and their relationships with their wives, I’m thinking about my 43-year marriage with my wife, I’m thinking about the multi-decade partnerships with my partners at Bridgewater, and I’m thinking about my many other long and deep relationships. These relationships have been the best things in my life, and I’m thinking that I should pass along the principles I learned about how to have such meaningful lifelong relationships.
Principle 1):
What creates and sustains truly great relationships (like great marriages and great partnerships) is the unwavering belief that nothing is more important than the relationship.
That’s because in all relationships there will be bad times and disagreements including very big and important ones, and what is required to sustain relationships through those bad times and large and small disagreements is the belief that no issue is more important than the relationship. It is that belief and the mutual demonstrated commitment to it that creates the willingness to work things out so that the bad times and the disagreements are gotten through together. Each needs to give that type of commitment and to see the other give it in order to have the great relationship. If you both believe hard enough that that’s true and operate as though it is true, it will probably become true, and if you don’t believe it’s true or you don’t act as though it’s true it doesn’t have a chance of becoming true. It is that demonstrated that is true love.?
Of course, in the early stage of a relationship there is no reason to believe that nothing is more important than the relationship and that the mutual commitments are there because that hasn’t been well tested. Because of that, you just have to have faith that it’s true and act as if it’s true and then see if the other person does the same. And of course, just the belief that the relationship is more important than the issues will not matter if the issues are really more important than the relationship. So, when facing those challenging bad times and disagreements in a relationship, and when making those important calls of what’s most important, you need to think hard about how important the relationship you have really is relative to how important getting your way is because the decisions you will make at those times either strengthen your relationship or weaken it.
Principle 2):
If you need to assess the value of your relationship, think hard about whether your most important values and principles are aligned, putting the really important ones ahead of the not so important ones.
In doing that assessment, please remember that a) the greatest things to have in life are great relationships, especially your most important relationships, b) you won’t be able to have great long-term relationships if you can’t get past the the disagreements and the imperfections because all relationships have disagreements and imperfections, c) no relationship will work in the long run if your most important values and principles are not aligned, and e) it takes a whole lot of trying and figuring things out in order come up with the best path.